I allowed the very first woman that told me she loved me to lower my goals and ambitions
Allowed her to define my worth
Even though her definition was below my very existence
I redefined myself on her conditions
Even when
I love you
Became I hate you ho*s and bit*hes
Battle scars began to take the place of loving kisses
But I was willing to swim the distance
Excuse my self esteem and allow other women to give me the love she didn’t
I spent 4 years of my life as a victim that was voluntarily crippled
Until my wings could no long take the restrictions and I had to break free
The next woman that told me she loved me…. Had me
I’d never known love could be so strong
Lifted me off my feet and planted me beyond cloud nine
I was flying
I became an addict and she was my hourly addiction
Touched me in places I never knew existed
And allowed me to cross boundaries that were meant to never be broken
We moaned words that didn’t have to be spoken
My body became her playground
And I didn’t mind riding her merry go round as long as she stayed around
And come and go she went
With me and other women
Took the love that I gave and attempted to walk in shoes she could not fill
Never told me the woman she claimed to be was not real
I was all in
Riding 99 in a 45 before reality came crashing in
Put the hood through the back seat
My breath was the only thing left of me
When she was done there was no salvaging me
This love completely flat lined me
The next woman that told me she loved me had to walk with care
Understand that my heart was under repair
And could only operate at minimum capacity
She passionately erased the pain that was buried there
Allowed me to walk as a woman
Speak like a lady
She treated me like a queen daily
Taught me how to set boundaries without encasing my heart in concrete
She loved me
But we were only meant for a season and not a lifetime
She fulfilled God’s purpose in my life even if only for a moment in time
Though we’ve parted ways, she will always be a friend of mine
Now I truly know how to love me
What love is and isn’t
The standard has been set and I’ll never accept anything less
Will never allow a woman to physically or verbally abuse me
Will not lower my standards or forget my ambitions
The next woman
Will accept me mentally, physically, and spiritually
Only a woman of experience
One with virtue
Honesty
And integrity
But until then I’m 100% satisfied with simply loving me
Allowed her to define my worth
Even though her definition was below my very existence
I redefined myself on her conditions
Even when
I love you
Became I hate you ho*s and bit*hes
Battle scars began to take the place of loving kisses
But I was willing to swim the distance
Excuse my self esteem and allow other women to give me the love she didn’t
I spent 4 years of my life as a victim that was voluntarily crippled
Until my wings could no long take the restrictions and I had to break free
The next woman that told me she loved me…. Had me
I’d never known love could be so strong
Lifted me off my feet and planted me beyond cloud nine
I was flying
I became an addict and she was my hourly addiction
Touched me in places I never knew existed
And allowed me to cross boundaries that were meant to never be broken
We moaned words that didn’t have to be spoken
My body became her playground
And I didn’t mind riding her merry go round as long as she stayed around
And come and go she went
With me and other women
Took the love that I gave and attempted to walk in shoes she could not fill
Never told me the woman she claimed to be was not real
I was all in
Riding 99 in a 45 before reality came crashing in
Put the hood through the back seat
My breath was the only thing left of me
When she was done there was no salvaging me
This love completely flat lined me
The next woman that told me she loved me had to walk with care
Understand that my heart was under repair
And could only operate at minimum capacity
She passionately erased the pain that was buried there
Allowed me to walk as a woman
Speak like a lady
She treated me like a queen daily
Taught me how to set boundaries without encasing my heart in concrete
She loved me
But we were only meant for a season and not a lifetime
She fulfilled God’s purpose in my life even if only for a moment in time
Though we’ve parted ways, she will always be a friend of mine
Now I truly know how to love me
What love is and isn’t
The standard has been set and I’ll never accept anything less
Will never allow a woman to physically or verbally abuse me
Will not lower my standards or forget my ambitions
The next woman
Will accept me mentally, physically, and spiritually
Only a woman of experience
One with virtue
Honesty
And integrity
But until then I’m 100% satisfied with simply loving me
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omg that was like really really REALLY good……you should like enter that in a contest or something you could win……i really liked that…..you see usually if theres something that long i wont like read it all but i like really got into that….i mean when i trie to stop reading it i couldnt because it was sooooo good……….do you write all the time or not very often??????i write poetry also mine are like really depressing though….i have only let one person read them(my L.A teacher) and it made her cry
ever time i get a chance to catch the g spot radio show i am just taken away by Miss Nyki’s words of poetry and her voice i must add. And reading her work is no different.